Projection, jealousy and other vices

Isn't it true that we can't stand in people what we fear the most in ourselves?

He asked me how my Easter day was, it was good, really good. I told him how I started the day on the phone with a mutual friend of ours who lives overseas, and how we chatted for almost an hour. He immediately asked “why! Are you going to visit him or something?” I answered “No, it’s been a while since we talked, and he always takes initiative in calling, so I wanted to call this time” He asked again “So you talked with him for an hour but you don’t have plans to go visit” I said “No, I have absolutely no plans to go visit him, are you insinuating that I would only call people if I have the intention to visit?” I didn’t care for the direction of that conversation based on a previous experience with that particular “friend”, I told him that I was getting an important phone call that I needed to take to get off the phone. Only then, it hit me, a few years back he would not return any of my phone calls or emails, and six months later he called me saying that he wanted to catch up, as the conversation interestingly unfolded, it turned out that he had a trip to make to LA and was wondering if he could crash on my couch.

When I got that new job he asked me what was it exactly that they saw in me, and I answered innocently (or should I say naively) without attaching any meaning to his question. After seeing the company I started working for, he said jokingly "they must be blind to have hired you". I wasn't surprised by his comment at that point in our relationship, or the lack of it, so I said "Well, I hope they remain blind then, because I love my job". I'm going to put this as simple as I possibly can, if the situation was reversed, I would have said "Well, you have earned it, you definitely deserve it, and they're lucky to have you".

I don't want anyone to take away from me the sunshine. I don't want to react in the same low level I was reacted to, so I say "Smile and keep your head held high, just realize it when people project their resentment on you, and when they do, don't lose your cool, don't lose yourself and what you believe in because if you do, it won't be their comment or behavior that's going to bother you, it will be your own reaction. So forgive, ignore, let go. And when closure after closure doesn't work, just distant yourself from all that negative energy if that's possible, because at that point, it shouldn't matter if they get it or not".