Friday, August 6, 2010

My Story with "كذبة" a so-called "Friend"

"Lie to me once, and I'll place my trust in my experience and judgment, instead of …………. in you".

When you don't lie, you don't think that people lie to you. Yes, that's me telling you that I don't lie. I don't like lying because I feel that if I lie to you, then at one point I'll forget what I lied about and have to cover it up with another lie, then cover up the second lie with a third lie and so on. Choosing to tell the truth makes life simple. I like simplicity but the story I'm about to tell has nothing simple to it. Here's how it goes:

Once upon a time over 10 years ago, I met a nice shy little girl in NYC when I first arrived to the US. She and I moved separately to California shortly after our first encounter. We both worked in the same field and lived close by, we hit it off.

Our relationship was innocent, spontaneous and full of joy. She traveled back to NYC for work. But fate brought her back to California for the second time and I couldn't be any happier. And for the sake of keeping her name confidential since she's not a work of my imagination, I will ironically call her "Kezbeh" and as you read on, you might figure out why.

Kezbeh was young and so cute, she used to dream real big. Her imagination had the sky as the limit and her conversations were full of hope and ambition. She was also very hard working and culturally well diverse. Kezbeh almost knew it all, almost,  just not quiet yet.

Kezbeh loved helping people, however, her eagerness to meet everyone's needs put her sometimes in trouble because she would not say to anyone "I don't know". She would voluntarily give the answers; even when she had the slightest knowledge about the topic in question. I remember telling her once "Kezbeh, it's okay to say "I don't know", I ask questions but my questions are sometimes rhetorical, I'm really not after the answer" But that never stopped her, it alas, challenged her more.

Not only she didn't stop at giving answers, which put her in trouble over and over, she also refused to learn from her mistakes. She was the prefect example of "History repeats itself" only in her case, there was not really enough history before it repeated itself. It became an addiction and she wanted to be like a bell that rings from any side you ding and ring it. Kezbeh wanted to always be the center of everyone's attention and she found out that when she exaggerates in telling her stories, people get more interested. That became her art ...............  the Art of Exaggeration.

Now Exaggeration as we all know involves sometimes little white lies. But the lies of Kezbeh were far away from being white, or even as the French put it " blanc-casse " and she always justified those flashy colors by saying that when you spin a rainbow colored wheel fast, you get white.

Kezbeh's life became a gamble, and she became addicted. It got sick when she started believing her own lies and living them as if they were the ultimate truth; an ongoing fictitious world she chose to step into, out of reality. She kept on standing people up. Same with friends, even her mother. She became disrespecful and careless. She extended her lies to her own husband and started cheating on him…. only that time with ....... women. The mentality behind it, or the lie behind it was "Cheating with same sex is not considered cheating, it's more like: exploring". She dragged every one who came her way into her game one way or the other. It all became so messy and a lot of people dropped out of her circle. I personally had to draw the line when I found out that Kezbeh was covering up her "casual" relationships by telling her husband that she's been hanging out with ................. ME!!!!

I had closure with her first. I gave her the benefit of the doubt way too many times. I had a heart to heart conversation with her about her choices, but nothing worked. My conscience is clear.

With everything she did, I was not disappointed at all. Look at people's actions, listen to their words and place your trust where it should be placed. You'll never be disappointed.

"Lie to me once, and I'll place my trust in my experience and judgment, instead of …………. in you".
"Lie to me again, and I'll know that you're always .... always joking. And I get it ............... hilarious".