Monday, September 26, 2016

Gym buddies

There are two kinds of gym buddies where I work out and I can't figure out which one to join

1) The screamers: Instead of exhaling, they scream in pain as if someone just told them we're filming Hulk and they are Hulk. They are usually round in shape, no seriously, ROUND, have angry 😡 faces, monopolize several weights around them to rotate their work out as if they own the gym, while the rest of us wonder where did all the weights go. They also throw the weights obnoxiously on the floor to make an impact (impact on the floor, cause no one is getting impressed with dumping the weights and the soothing noise it makes). Finally, some of them do not wear deodorant because it is more manly. They probably think it's sexy too. They also don't take the towel that is offered complimentary upon their check-in because they believe in leaving a sweat trace on the benches for others to find. You can spot them from a distance. Just look at the breathless red faces around them who hold their breath with the hopes that "this too shall pass" till they are able to breathe again or just fall down and die.

2) The self-admirers: Those ones are not round in shape, they are either skinny or in good shape. They walk with poise, with grace, with their heads held high, so high sometimes you wonder how do they mange to walk without tripping. They don't smell, they don't make any noise. They also don't bother anyone. They REALLY mind their own business. What is that business? It is staring at their reflection(s) in the mirrors with infatuation. If you don't know what's going on, you might get the impression they don't have mirrors in their apartments so they're making the best out of the situation (seizing the opportunity if you will). You might even catch them taking sneak peeks at their abs every 5 seconds, lifting their tank tops up and flexing, then flexing again, then flexing sideways, then shaking their bonbons. Some of them get lost in the moment thinking they are performers. You see them squeezing their eyes with passion to the music they're listening to on their phones, lip-syncing the song better than Milli Vanilli, and dancing better than Britney!

Then there's me. 🤔 yup, the opinionated observer who questions what is wrong with him!

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