That Cold Morning

That cold morning
The snow kept on falling
And I heard it wouldn't stop before midnight

That November morning
Winter was dawning
But I had a feeling, I'd be alright

It was cold outside
The storm was fierce
But in my heart the wind felt like a gentle breeze

It was warm inside
I felt happiness
Dancing to the rhythm of my heartbeat

That cold morning
The snow kept on falling
building up a wall, blocking light and sight

It was like a warning
Darkness was forming
But I found the light when I searched inside

And it's simple
It could be a happy song
That brings warmth to your heart when you sing a long
Oh yeah it's simple
A memory from your past
The puts a smile on your face, a nostalgic one that lasts

When the going gets rough
When there ain't much love
When you do your best yet nothing seems good enough
Look back on your history
Remember tough victories
But don't underestimate the healing touch of memories

That cold morning
Was the end of my mourning
For when I reached deep inside, I got in touch with the child
Who whispered "Good Morning,
The snow will keep on falling
But it will make peace and turn all White"

Don't lose interest, Educate...

We live in a multi cultural metro political society, we meet the Asian, the European, the Middle Eastern, the African, the Hispanic, the Indian, we study then work with them, we live next to them, we buy and sell things from and to them. We invite them over and go over, we learn about their habits, their food, their culture and we share ours with them. And there are things we like so much about them and things that we are not crazy about. But regardless of what we like and what we dislike, we become open minded and none judgmental because of the exposure. Regardless how accepting or discriminating we are, the exposure to all those different cultures helps us understand the reason behind certain behaviors and we become more tolerant of things we don’t necessarily agree on or comprehend.

With all that we have the new arrivals every day, those arrive and blend first into their culture, they try to adapt to the American culture too since they live here now, and some make no effort whatsoever. However the new arrivals from the old world like me 10 years ago, grew up with no exposure but to their own tradition and culture. I remember when I first arrived to LA, I would not eat salad with any kind of fruits in it. Salads in my dictionary were a mix of vegetables and a dressing of only olive oil with lemon or vinegar. Anything else, I would be skeptical about. But I also remember clearly my feelings, I used to tell myself, people here don’t know how to eat, they mix up so many things that don’t go together. 10 years later, when my mom and dad arrived, I made them a salad that was my favorite, I don’t know the name but I know it had a bed of cabbage, with apples and oranges, nuts and red beans. Dad looked at the salad with the corner of his eye and said “what is that?” I said Salad, he asked “with fruits in it?” I said "yeah, I didn’t care for it when I first arrived too, I love it now". Mom was open minded about it, I do know however she didn’t really like it at first. The funny thing is that I believe we have the best kind of food here because we have all kind of kitchens, and sometimes these plates from different backgrounds intertwine and come up with more exotic flavors

But that’s a little example of food, there’s so much more that is dealt with differently, an important example is the kind of respect we have for each other’s privacy here, which is stronger than a lot of single-cultured countries, I have to be very sensitive in the way I present this,  I clearly remember when I called people on the phone the first few months or even the first year of my arrival, if my phone call was not returned in an hour or so, I got offended, sometimes I would be driving in a certain neighborhood and find myself driving by a friend's place, I would not think twice if I have some free time to knock on the door without even calling on the phone before before, " surprise!!!" I never thought it was a big deal, at least according to my background,  I learned here not to ask people personal questions that back home it was not just okay, but very normal. Religion is one of them, marital and parenthood status is another, what do you do for living is third and the list goes on….. Till today, I find myself relating in some ways to the new arrivals, I hear new expressions that I don't understand and I answer them funny, I express myself in certain body language that cracks up my friends, I still sometimes mis-express myself talking. And let me be clear here, if someone who you know that he or she is visiting or immigrated recently asks you certain questions, do not let that question turn you off, maybe even answer it if you care to, but take the time to explain once what is and what is not appropriate even if it's a given, believe me when I say this, they are thirsty to adapt, they're hungry to be politically correct without losing their identity, and they're frustrated with the cultural differences too. Do those questions make the new arrivals bad or rude? I wouldn't think so. I say, give them a chance, don't lose interest in them immediately, educate them and let me them surprise you, they won't forget what you taught them, but more importantly, they won't ever forget you

My Signature

Take away my dreams, they're all about you

My ambitions, my hopes and everything I pursue

Take my poems, re-write them, then claim them yours

I will write more, all for you and all about you for sure

Take my songs, play them, sing them, change their rhythm

Take away from them or find more to go with them

Reproduce them, flip their genre from pop to blues

Whatever it is, I would  trust anything you choose

Take away my senses, and my all pretty much

Mold me into what you like, recreate me with your own touch 

But keep me alive and keep my only purpose loving you

I'll survive because loving you is all I know and all I do

Take my happiness and give me your grief

Replace my faith with your disbelief

Take my peace and give me your anger

Take my safety and give me your danger

Replace my strength with your weakness

My health will cure in you any sickness

Take my laughter and give me your tears

Take my security and give me your fears

Change every thing I have, be my God, be my creator

Loving you would still be my profession, I'm no amateur

No matter how much you take, no matter if you still want more

Just leave me one thing and I hope it's not much to ask for

My name
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My signature

Happiness, a very subjective topic

Mom used to raise her hands up to the sky and lift her head high and pray for us to become rich. She always said that money helps people become happy.  Any parent who loves their children would want the best for them, to the best of their knowledge.


Dad got diagnosed with cancer seven months ago and left us now. I keep on thinking, if I had millions of dollars, I still wouldn’t be able to save his life, lessen his pain, make him happy, make my mother and sisters happy. My family lives overseas, I visited twice last year to be with them and I realized how great the support around dad was, my sisters came every day, my brothers in law were always ready for help. Yet no amount of money would have changed the situation. We are blessed with the love we have for each other, that makes us rich, that made a difference in the last days of a man who had his share of pain dying a little every day, he was not put in a far away hospital with a nurse and a doctor whom he never met in his life, he died on his own bed amongst his wife, daughters and youngest sister.



Twenty one days ago was the start of 2010, when I made a phone call to wish my family a happy new year, Dad was still alive, very weak though. I talked with everyone and wished them all a better year, I asked mom to give dad a kiss for me and to tell him how much I love him. My sister said “let’s put the handset close to dad’s ear and have him hear it directly from you”, they did, when I talked back with mom, she was crying, my sisters were crying. Mom said “Happy new year babe, I wish you a better year; I want you to be happy, be healthy and you’re rich, it’s my # 1 wish for all of you this year”. Those were mom’s words as she’s approaching her sixty, the very same woman who always prayed for her children to be rich.



Happiness for me is different of course from others’, we all have different priorities, different abilities to adapt to our reality. As I mentioned before, I love people, but I don’t need to constantly be around them every day. I need my space for my writings, to meditate, to relax, I can not not have a "me" time. One of my friends for example has different needs, he can not be isolated for a full day from people, he breathes conversations, interactions and he requires attention. That’s what makes him happy. So the question is, is there a recipe for happiness? Yes and no, it’s different from one person to another, but the key is knowing yourself to know what makes you happy. Mine is simple, balanced social life, balanced working hours, good healthy food and fun outdoor activities cut it for me. Money? I love to be able to afford all of the above and I’m happy, what am I going to do with the surplus? I’m sure you all have your ideas, hey, I have lots of those too, but it ain't gonna make me happy for a long time.

Unhealthy friendship!

"Do you love me?". Have you ever asked a friend that kind of question? If you did, read on

Childhood friends, Best friends, just friends, so-so friends, girlfriends and boyfriends and there are a lot of other labels for our relationships with people. It doesn’t matter what we call them, we have different reasons to be friends with them. In most cases, initially it is the kind of satisfaction we get out of those relationships as opposed to what we contribute to those people we’re calling Friends. Admit it or not, it is the case for starting up a new relationship. Certain people make us laugh so we like to hang out with them, other people have really good hearts, we feel good and comfortable being around them, others we enjoy writing to and don't mind the distance, and the list of reasons goes on. Now that could be (and should be) only at the beginning. As time goes by, we develop certain feelings (love if you will) and actually care for that person we call a friend, regardless how the whole thing started.

Friendships that started in the past when we were much easier to get along with, sometimes drag into the present. I'm using the word "Drag" instead of a positive word to point out the one common mistake that a lot of people fall into; the moral obligation of keeping it going for the sake of the shared common history. Going all the way to the past, reflecting on how our relationships started, it used to be simple and about convenience. Like how close by we lived, did we play the same kind of games, how well/bad our grades at school were, what kind of music we listened to, and of course did our mothers allow the friendship. Those are reasons we would not necessarily open up to a stranger as adults and let them into our lives today because now we’re “mature” “selective” “picky” “know what we want” …. etc. I can’t help but cherish the simple life we had when we were simple. It was easy to get along with so many people when we were younger. But that’s not the point here, it is what we do with an ancient relationship when we feel that all it's doing is damage, all its causing is drama, and all it's bringing to the table is grudges. How and when do we stop it? How strong are we to not fall back into it?

So I'm going to ask the real question, "Do you hate me?"  Well, I shouldn't have waited to get to this point, I admit, I made a huge mistake, but I had no way of knowing that watering a damaged plant is like feeding a cancer in your body. All it does is spread it more to destroy you. "Do you hate me?" is a question you should never ask your best friend, or your friend. If you reach that point, know that you should have stopped that friendship a long long time ago.

A virus called Guilt

Isn’t religion supposed to be Personal!!!

يجب ان لا يكون الدين وسيلة للسياسة

Religion is a peaceful place where I don’t want to feel guilty about being myself. I was born and raised Catholic till I turned 26. In my mid twenties I met this wonderful Jesuit priest from Holland who changed my life, my belief system, my childish faith. He taught me how to meditate, how to be silent and listen, even Yoga. He made me question things, challenged me to think, liberated me from all the guilt that the church fed me through the various religious organizations I was member of.



I’m now 36 and I couldn’t feel any happier with the inner peace I have. I’m not saying I figured it out, I’m open to learning more. Do I necessarily seek it? not really, do I try to spread it? absolutely not. Where I come from, it’s a taboo to say I was this and now I’m that. And even here in the US my experience around people with the same background has been kind of harsh. When in social circles people ask me about my religion (which is not a very polite question to start with) and I answer that I used to be Catholic, I’m still under the Christian umbrella but I don’t practice anymore, I get all kind of reactions that are mostly negative and judgmental, I will not get into that but I will say that with all the negativity, I’m still at a very peaceful place.



I wrote a song about what I believe in, the song is ironically called “I’m a believer” when according to religious people I’m not.  And no matter what I believe in,  the purpose of my song is not to spread my personal agenda, it's a peaceful song that tells us to get along no matter what our belief system is.



I have so many theories on religion, but the one I like to follow the most is calling my religion “Humanity” and it’s the way we treat each other, being merciful, none-judgmental, forgiving, none-judgmental, loving, none-judgmental, open minded and none-judgmental.



Well, the fact that certain religions teach their followers that unless you’re this and that, you won’t go to heaven, is full of ignorance. If you say it's the journey that really makes the difference, why are you so caught up in the destination. Heaven is here and there, we're all going to heaven, some will arrive before the others, some are already there, and they're not necessarily Dead. Look back and reflect on the hidden agenda behind most wars, and in so many cases the real reason of the war, look today and find for yourself how much wasted energy lots of religions are putting to spread more of their belief and still not getting it, they won't win, look at the killing in the name of God and how some religions consider it more than legitimate with heavenly rewards. No one is going to win, no one, wonder why? because people select their religion or inherit theirs and stick to it, it's got a format so strong that goes through your veins to a point where backing up will get you real bad, shrewd virus called Guilt.

I will love you no matter what religion is, through the way you treat me, the way you carry yourself, the way you treat others. I will love you if you love yourself and embrace yourself, whether you're Christian, Jewish, Muslim, Buddhist and even Atheist, just keep your belief in the background. It's your personal preference, don't feel obligated to spread what you believe in the name of God, because you're spreading it in the name of man, the man who wants everyone to believe what he believes. I had an Atheist uncle whom I adored, he said he doesn't believe in God, but through the unconditional love he gave everyone around him, God was present whether he liked it or not. Some things are out of our control, Is Love God or is God Love? we don't have to label everything

Comfort Zone

They say that "Knowledge" empowers. So I work everyday on getting one step closer to what I aspire, wish and dream about, by learning more. However I feel that the more I learn the more I’m overwhelming myself and the further away I'm getting. I come to discover with that "Knowledge" there's always more to do and more to learn. I hate to admit it, but also it makes me feel there’s a right way of doing things, not a random way of experimenting. That right way, though requires more efforts, boosts your self confidence to do it again and again without doubting your system.

I have decided to give writing a shot. I don’t know what I’m going to be writing about, I’m not a professional writer and English is my second language. So I guess I will write every week for the next 52 weeks about a different experience or feeling. I will expand on that and be as truthful, transparent and authentic as I can be, then send it out there to the world. Maybe someone somewhere will connect to it, after all, feelings are universal even though experiences vary.

Why do I write? I decided to write a blog once a week after I watched the movie "Julie and Julia" and also because of the encourageing responses for my annual email that I send out to all of my friends and family. So my commitment is to write about one thing every week, religiously. It’s my goal for 2010

So starting with this one as the first weekly blog, I wanted to call it comfort zone for a reason. When I reflect on my past, I notice that every time I move forward a step or two, every time I experience a divine experience, it always involves initially some resistance, hesitation, and coming up with all excuses that I should not do it. However I end up pushing myself out of my comfort zone, and in most cases I end up having the time of my life. I like to push people too, yes I have been called pushy. After my trip to London for a week, I find myself encouraging people to travel alone and explore the world without waiting for someone to travel with them. Of course travelling with company is fun, but sometimes your vacation schedule doesn’t match those you want to travel with. Do you sit down and wait? I hear all kind of objections to it, I ask “well how do you know it’s not for you if you never tried it?” and most people say, I simply know because I don’t like to travel alone, I don’t enjoy it. Yup, that used to be my answer too. London ended up as one of the most fun trips I have ever had.

My Comfort Zone would have kept me where I was 10 years ago, I left my hometown with so many doubts, to a country that I knew nothing about. It would have kept me at my first job as a bus boy, then a stuck boy, a carpet cleaner, a painter, a teller, a personal banker, a barista, a banking center manager. It would have kept me from launching my own business in teaching one on one my native tongue. And you do know why? Because comfort zone is cozy, it’s warm, it’s easy on the eyes, also on the ears. It’s familiar, it’s comfortable. And one thing for sure, “it will keep you where you are”. I don’t want to stay where I am, as much as I love routine and discipline, I like to move, not necessarily up, but to move in a different direction. Life is too short to stay at one place (and I don’t mean one place as in one apartment or city, I mean one place as in not moving on and learning and exploring more) so this is my new direction, writing